I read this article yesterday. It was on my newsfeed on facebook and it is from a page called: Elephant Love: Loneliness, Dating & Relationships. The original site elephantjournal.com also features this article and it is written by Elyane Youssef.
I have been thinking about the fragile nature of our feelings when love is involved. How deeply you lose yourself in another person.How quickly you say “I Love You” without even pondering on what love really is? What is Love? Has somebody been able to define it yet? We know we feel something, but how do we know that what we are feeling is truly love? Does love even exist?
In case you were expecting me to give you MY definition of love, let me disappoint you right now. I don’t have one. I haven’t yet been able to put into words what I feel when I think I am experiencing love.
I’m talking about romantic love here. Not familial love, or self-love or any of the other types. I’m talking specifically about the love you think you experience when you say “hey, I think I can spend the rest of my life with this person”. Like what does that actually feel like? If you think you know what it is, please comment below and let me know. It’s always good to get many perspectives on a topic to get a deeper understanding.
Back to the article. I read it and thought “Hmmm, yeah. If you love someone, you won’t hurt them. You won’t destroy them”. So whilst I may not fully know what love IS. I think I have some sort of idea on what it isn’t. It isn’t hurting someone you claim to love.
So this article basically sums up what you shouldn’t do to someone you “love”. The article uses the pronoun “she”, but you can change it to “he” and it would still mean the same. I am going to share the article with you because I liked it. I think it was sincere and thought provoking. And if you are also wondering about what love is or isn’t, then maybe this might push your thoughts in a certain direction.
I will share it now and you can take what you need from it. Make what you want out of it. If it’s funny, then laugh. If it helps you in any way, then use it. If it inspires you then good!
I liked it, so I thought I would share it. I don’t even know what this made me feel. But it made me feel something.
“I know you love her.If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be with her. But since you’re only a human being with variable emotions, you might be inclined to love her in all the wrong ways.A healthy, happy relationship can transform into a destructive one if you treat her less than how she deserves to be treated.Nonetheless, I hope you try to love her right. I hope you cast every ray of awareness upon your love for her. I hope you know that awareness is what keeps a relationship strong.I want you to remember how she looked when you first laid eyes on her. She was everything you longed for. Be it her beauty, her wild nature, her sense of humor or her independence, there’s something about her you haven’t found in anyone else.And what floored you the most was her completeness.If you love her, keep her this way. Keep her beautiful, keep her wild, keep her complete.While she’s the master of her own fate, I wish you understood that you play a major role in her life. How you treat her determines how she views herself—you can make her shine or make her feel lost. She’s a statue in your hands and she only hopes to be held with vigilance.If you love her, don’t destroy her.Know that she was destroyed before and another destruction isn’t what she’s aiming for. If she’s with you, know that she has stepped over her fear and insecurities to be with you. She has stepped over her past and decided to give love another chance. She has entrusted you with the health of this relationship—and with her heart.Don’t let her down.You destroy her the moment you think you know her. She’s not a book you will eventually finish. She’s something yet to be discovered—so live every day as if you’re meeting her for the first time.Be present. Nothing destroys her more than your emotional absence. You can sit with her all day long and not really be there, yet you can be so far away and be completely present.Stimulate her thoughts, her emotions, her being. Dive into her soul like you’d dive into an ocean.Know that you’ll wreck her if she ever felt you need her rather than want her. You’ll destroy every inch of her if you only love her when loneliness creeps up on you. Because she seeks your love in all moments, not just when your fears and insecurities strike.I know that your own past sufferings may have destroyed you. But don’t love her just so she can carry your emotional baggage with you. Don’t love her if you only want her to fix you. Know that she will, with time, without you even knowing.Her love and existence will heal every part of you. But if you are with her solely to fill the emptiness inside you, she will know—and it will destroy her.And remember, she doesn’t want to be fixed either. Maybe she opened up to you and told you about her painful past. Perhaps you know the exact number of pieces she was turned into. But she didn’t tell you so you would fix her—she only told you so you can know what she endured and how it made her who she is today.She wants you to acknowledge that your actions toward her—actions motivated by love, understanding and patience—are what matter.Don’t treat her like a broken woman. She is complete with all her pieces, even though they may still be scattered everywhere. Embrace them with her—just don’t add to them. Make her see why she went through destructive relationships in the past. Make her realize that she went through the “worst” so she could appreciate the “better” that you are.If you love her, love her with all her flaws and insecurities. She is as imperfect as you are and she only hopes to share that imperfection with you. She wants to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.She wants to be the same way with you that she is in the mirror—crazy, wild and free. If you’re not ready to accept her as she is, you will destroy her.If you love her, build her up because she will be doing the same for you. Know that whatever effort you put in, she will be putting in double.If you show her the moon, she’ll show you the entire galaxy.If you take her to a well, she’ll introduce you to the ocean.If you treat her right, she’ll love you more.If you love her well, she’ll never forget you”